Friday, October 10, 2008

Griffin's due date

Today was really doomsday for me. I'd thought about it so much in the first four months of my pregnancy, of going through delivery, of changing diapers and being up all night, nursing a baby, two carseats in the the rearview mirror of my car...
I really, really wanted Griffin. And I still do.

When we lost him four months ago, I was in a really bad place. Saying goodbye to him was undoubtedly the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I was really in a state of shock. I think I had to be just to get through it all, if that makes any sense.
But when I look back on the day he was born, as hard as it was, I have good memories because we held him and took pictures with him, and our parents and Lane were there with us. When I think of his funeral, it gives me strength remembering all our family being there.
So rather than today being a day of complete sadness, I thought we'd have a little party to look back on. Start a happy tradition, so that I wouldn't dread this day every year.
So Mark and Marlo and I went to Griffin's grave, with balloons and whistles and bubbles and party hats. We sang "happy birthday" and let a balloon up into the sky for him.

And I'm really, really glad we did. I think it was a smashing success.


Anonymous GP John said...

Indeed it was a smashing success!! Thank you for sharing. With love joy and respect.

10/10/2008 9:58 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

I'm really proud of you. I love all of you so much, and today I'm missing Griffin.

10/10/2008 10:45 PM  
Blogger Auntie Ann said...

This is the best idea ever...These photos are precious.

10/11/2008 12:59 PM  
Blogger Christmas Queen said...

I love the celebration for Griffin. His sweet little face is forever in my mind and heart.

10/11/2008 3:53 PM  
Blogger Auntie Di said...

The photo of you three is so heartwarming....I now see the flag in the background that you told me about...Also...Marlo's hair DOES look like it grew overnight!!

10/11/2008 5:19 PM  
Blogger amy said...

We love you all!

10/13/2008 10:40 AM  
Blogger Heather Marie said...

I love you guy's so much!!!

And this is just by far the most perfect and loving celebration ever!!!

You are the best little family he is so lucky to have you guy's!

Love Marlo and Griffin's Auntie Cousin

10/13/2008 12:59 PM  
Blogger katie cox said...

That is such a good tradition! It feels so good to remember them and honor them.

10/14/2008 2:59 PM  
Blogger Kell & Nick said... sweet and so special!
You guys are amazing!!!

10/14/2008 7:20 PM  
Blogger Annie said...

This is totally random, my name is Annie Wiseman and I came across your blog and had to read on once I saw the title of this post. I lost my first baby on April 22, 2008. I hope you don’t think I’m crazy, but for some reason I decided to look through your past posts and soon realized that we lost our babies to the same chromosomal defect. I gave birth to the sweetest baby boy, Cyrus Jacob Wiseman at 24 weeks and he lived for 5 minutes. My husband and I found out about our baby boy at our 5 month appointment. At my ultrasound an omphalocele was found which lead us to an amniocenteses which lead to the prognosis of Trisomy 18. I am so sorry for your loss. I’m really impressed with the way you’ve been able to express yourself on your blog. I’ve had a rough time doing that. Thanks for giving me some inspiration. I’m also very sorry to hear about your father. You’re definitely in my thoughts and prayers. I have a blog, but it’s private. Send me an email at , if you want to, and I’ll send you an invite.

Sincerely, Annie

10/15/2008 3:09 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

what a great tradition erin.

he definately deserves to be celebrated!

love you guys.

10/31/2008 1:56 PM  

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