Thursday, April 30, 2009

So I'm a little moody lately.

Under normal circumstances, I may have a little OCD. I just might be a bit of a control freak. I just might break down a bit when I have to stray from my plan. And sometimes I've been known to clean the tracks of my windows out with Q tips. Right now I'm paying someone to clean my house, only I don't know that it's really clean because I didn't bleach it myself.

But right now I'm on bed rest. I'm hoping to have these boys in 12 weeks (I can't say that in months, too painful) and no earlier, not only for their health's sake but because I don't have a THING ready for them. I'm camped out in the guest room, which is going to be their room, but right now it's full of my stuff as well as everything else that has no home.

I'm only a few pounds away from my Marlo delivery weight. I've got back pain and ligament pain and contractions. I can't find a position that's comfortable for more than 15 minutes at a time.

I can't bend. Did you know that if you're given doctor's orders not to bend, the likelihood that you drop something increases by 100%? So when I reach for my lip balm and instead knock it to the floor, I could just snap. It may be tears or it may be fury. It's totally unpredictable.

I know that this will pass. I know that having two little boys is a tremendous blessing. I know that rather than try to control my surroundings, I need to control myself.

But to the next person who tells me, "Once you have those boys, you'll be wishing you could get back in that bed." ....



Blogger patrice stanford said...

Great!!! I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I am truly in awe of your strength...I WOULD have gouged someone's eyes out by now. Know that you are deeply loved by many and that God is watching over you and your little men....of course, once you have them you will be wishing you were back on bed rest (sorry, I couldn't resist). I love you!!!!

5/01/2009 10:14 AM  
Blogger Mary said...

poor thing!
it's not an easy thing to do, but i love you for it!
i'll "see you soon"!

5/01/2009 12:29 PM  
Anonymous Kelly said...

Hello Sweet Pea!!!! What if you hire marlo (and pay in cookies or M&Ms) to pick up everything you're dropping? Just an idea. Or maybe we can get you one of those fancily trained dogs. I'd say a weenie dog, but I think you'd still have to bend over to reach their level. miss you and love you dearly. I'm available all times of day or night for venting. xoxoxo

5/01/2009 2:19 PM  
Blogger amy said...

You made my day!! oh the little things! I wish we lived closer so I could help you out!
I think of you often...hang in there!
Oh...have Mark go get you one of those hand squeeze picker upers! Noah has a toy one! They work great!

You just might has some goodies from the Henneseys coming in the mail!! :)

5/01/2009 4:49 PM  
Blogger Auntie Ann said...

ooooohhh girl, I feel you on this post. Although, Im not on bed rest I want to cry when I drop something too and i want to beat a few people up. So there. Its not easy.

5/01/2009 8:56 PM  
Anonymous GP Jphn said...

After reading this several times you seem very well balanced -- no mental intended

5/01/2009 10:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, bed rest would be miserable. It would be nice for a day or two but after that I would freak.

5/02/2009 10:53 PM  
Blogger Jenny said...

I really don't know you very well, but after reading this post I really like you. Good luck with your bed rest.

5/03/2009 7:42 PM  

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