Sunday, January 06, 2008

The last day I saw my sister...




Amy and Josh came over yesterday for dinner and then stayed the night. They left this morning to do the last bit of cleaning at their house. Then they leave early tomorrow morning for Texas. They're going to drive about ten hours, get a hotel, then wake up and drive another ten hours, get another hotel, and then wake up and drive about 5 hours and be in Austin.

That's how far away it is.

When we hugged goodbye this morning, I tried to pretend it was our normal parting and that I'd see her in a few days. Because I don't want her to be sad, I don't want her to go with this big cloud of sadness following her. I want her to be happy and hopeful for what lies ahead of her because it will be challenging enough to start over in a new place.

As much as I'd like her to be by my side forever, I want what's best for her and Josh. I just can't stop thinking about the distance. All of our time together now will be monumental, with planning and packing and planes. And I don't even know when I'll see her next.

And don't even get me started on when she has kids. Not being there through her whole pregnancy, to watch her belly grow? Hoping to make it to the delivery room in time? And birthdays, and holidays...will they just be phone calls?

These are the things that keep me up at night, the constant lump in my throat. They are all a bunch of what-ifs, of what I'm afraid might happen. And I know how selfish this all sounds, believe me. I know that Amy's move to Texas is much bigger than all of this, and that it really doesn't have anything to do with me. She will always be my sister.

She'll just be my sister in Texas.

8 Comments:

Blogger Mary said...

I feel like crying...it's so sad. And I don't think you are being selfish. There is nothing like a sister.
I love you....

1/07/2008 10:43 AM  
Blogger the henneseys* said...

Oh my goodness!!! I really need to go and fix my make-up!! Erin...Its going to be hard but it will be ok! I really don't know what to say...I don't have a sister! And I know there is nothing like the bond between two sisters! It will get easier as time goes on and as much as you travel you will see eachother often!! Texas sounds fun! Never been and soon you will! :)

1/07/2008 1:50 PM  
Blogger Auntie Ann said...

My heart is broken into...im so sorry for you both. I dont know what I would do if Amy and I didnt live by eachother. I know exactly how you feel, I left SAN DIEGO for UTAH when she was preg. One thing I do know is that evrything happens for a reason. I met Adam when moved to Utah, Wonderful things are in store for your sister. Nothing can ever come between the two of you. Im so sorry for you.

1/07/2008 5:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That broke my heart...sob...Auntie Di

1/07/2008 8:24 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

erin i am sorry and i am thinking about you.

1/08/2008 9:52 AM  
Anonymous Mom said...

. . . just like you are my daughter in San Diego and now I have a daughter in Texas. We are going to make it work! Love you to pieces, Mom

1/08/2008 4:33 PM  
Blogger Kell & Nick said...

Erin,
I so know how you feel!!! My sister left 3 weeks after Ashley was born and it was the saddest day for me and my mom....I felt apart of me was gone....it has been hard being so far away from my sister...I miss her so much and feel like I am missing out on Ashley and Allison's life...but we try to get together as often as possible! Just keep the phone close and computer close....Thinking about you at this time! Kell~

1/08/2008 7:15 PM  
Blogger the henneseys* said...

i just have to add that marlo is mark jr.!!

1/09/2008 10:18 AM  

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