October 23
was the three year anniversary of my dad's passing. My aunt, my sister, and my brother and I scattered his ashes at one of his favorite fishing spots.
It was what he asked us to do before he died. And I probably would have never done it unless my sister brought it up. I've made several excuses about not doing it sooner. The first one being my dad would never rush a thing because he liked to get everything "just right". It's why leaving early in the morning for camping meant two p.m. and his big breakfasts came around lunchtime. But when we camped, it was like a luxury vacation, and his breakfasts were legendary. You could choose your hash brown toppings and he had a bacon press...seriously.
But I was never trying to get anything just right. I was procrastinating. And if given the choice, I will avoid confronting anything emotional or painful for as long as possible. It even took me a month to write this post.
I drove with my sister and I hadn't been there in years, but somehow I knew the way. I felt like I was going to freak out any minute because it was just so big and so final. But as I watched my brother and my aunt get the boat into the water like they'd done a million other times, a great peace came over me.
It could not have been a more beautiful day. It was clear and warm and everything just seemed to glow. My brother took us out far as he and Aunt Di talked about how everything used to look and where their duck blinds used to be. Amy and I were never a part of that fishing and hunting stuff. We were such little girls, playing with Barbies. I loved hearing the details of it all.
My aunt brought her iPad and with the touch of a button, we heard "Danny Boy". She always remembers those things, like bagpipes at his memorial. My brother said a prayer. And everything was okay.
I am so grateful for my family. So grateful that these are the people that God has given me. That they are mine...not just for sharing a turkey or exchanging gifts, but in the hardest of times when I don't want to face anything, they are standing right next to me
It was what he asked us to do before he died. And I probably would have never done it unless my sister brought it up. I've made several excuses about not doing it sooner. The first one being my dad would never rush a thing because he liked to get everything "just right". It's why leaving early in the morning for camping meant two p.m. and his big breakfasts came around lunchtime. But when we camped, it was like a luxury vacation, and his breakfasts were legendary. You could choose your hash brown toppings and he had a bacon press...seriously.
But I was never trying to get anything just right. I was procrastinating. And if given the choice, I will avoid confronting anything emotional or painful for as long as possible. It even took me a month to write this post.
I drove with my sister and I hadn't been there in years, but somehow I knew the way. I felt like I was going to freak out any minute because it was just so big and so final. But as I watched my brother and my aunt get the boat into the water like they'd done a million other times, a great peace came over me.
It could not have been a more beautiful day. It was clear and warm and everything just seemed to glow. My brother took us out far as he and Aunt Di talked about how everything used to look and where their duck blinds used to be. Amy and I were never a part of that fishing and hunting stuff. We were such little girls, playing with Barbies. I loved hearing the details of it all.
My aunt brought her iPad and with the touch of a button, we heard "Danny Boy". She always remembers those things, like bagpipes at his memorial. My brother said a prayer. And everything was okay.
I am so grateful for my family. So grateful that these are the people that God has given me. That they are mine...not just for sharing a turkey or exchanging gifts, but in the hardest of times when I don't want to face anything, they are standing right next to me
posted by Erin at
10:45 PM
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