hey...I know you

So these two have finally noticed each other and they're quite happy about it.

self portrait

this is Marlo on a horse, wearing a cowboy hat. The black things along each side are cacti.

one year.

my dad died one year ago today.

my only dad.

I'm trying not to think

of how much pain he was in,

of how little we talked

in the year before he died,

of all the drama and disrespect

that went on in the last week of his life,

perpetrated by his own family, no less.

I'm thinking of the things I learned from him

and the good times we had together.

Like camping.

My dad had everything

you could ever imagine you'd need.

We lived like kings

(only in tents).

His love of music.

Singing Joe Cocker, Ray Charles

and Creedence as he took me

to high school in the morning.

His cooking

and his gardening.

what I wouldn't do

for a tomato from his garden

or his pickled green beans.

Or how

when I was a very little girl,

he would run his fingers through my hair

and put me right to sleep.

How he thought I was so

smart and funny and beautiful

and a much greater person

than I'll ever be.

And what I almost forgot

in those last few years:

how much he loved me.

Brick or treat

still working out the kinks on Marlo's costume so she wore one of her dress ups to Legoland.

like weeds

Graham on left, Cash on right


Cash on left, Graham on right


Graham in front

what do you think?

not looking so identical in these to me.

pumpkin patch.....

Usually I'm not that into Halloween because it gets in the way of my Christmas decorating, but today I found myself getting a smidge excited. I guess because Marlo was. Maybe this year we will decorate before the Day Of.

what's going on

well, I don't really know. Everything is a blur lately. I feel so out of touch.

• Cash is sick. He has a cold, an eye infection and an ear infection, prompting us to cancel our photoshoot scheduled for tomorrow with sarah. So bummed.
• Marlo had preschool photos today. I get teary-eyed looking at her because she's growing way too fast.
• I miss talking to everybody!!! I'm texting & facebooking my best friends at midnight because that's the only time I have. And sister...I miss you. And I forgot to call my grandma today because I was caught up cleaning house. I'm looking at a shiny floor and thinking it was sooo not worth it. Damn OCD.
• Reconnected with a friend I've been looking for for years on facebook. So happy.
• I've lost 35 pounds since delivery. Still got 20 to go. Get your chin off the floor. I know it's a lot but it was bed rest, for pete's sake.
• We are loving our new neighborhood.
• I'm no longer breastfeeding. I agonized over if it was even worth pumping to only give them 3 oz a day...and then I pumped and nothing happened. I cried, but I'm okay. (sorry if it's TMI)
• Mark and I are going to Las Vegas for a friend's wedding while his parents babysit, for which I am SO GRATEFUL. I plan on sleeping the whole trip.