At Matt & Amy's

28 months

Marlo just says everything, remembers everything, notices everything. She said so many funny things today I couldn't even count...my favorite was when we were eating dinner and she said, "Is it tasty, guys?"

She's a caretaker...always trying to meet the needs of her toys. Her baby needs a new diaper or sippy (juice, milk and water), her stuffed kitten needs her mommy, her bunny needs its carrot. And everyone needs to be rescued (blame that on Dora).

She is also big on tools and fixing things. When we run into problems or something doesn't work I get suggestions for glue, scissors, batteries or sticky tape.

And some Yuba

We went to Brock's ice cream and of course Costa Vida (my in-laws appease me and take me there every time). Marlo loves Grandma and Grandpa's, where she can get into everything she shouldn't. She had so much fun in the sprinkler too.
We got to see Matt and Amy and their new baby Ava, such a little cutie pie. That's their daughter Reilly with Marlo. I wish we lived closer because the kids have so much fun together.

The last of them

but probably my most favorite.








It was Marlo's first time painting, and I was amazed at her patience. She and Sabrina sat together for over an hour. She was really into it most of the time, but then she'd get giggly, and Sabrina would get exasperated because she was trying to concentrate.

Sabrina wanted her painting to be perfect, and was trying so hard to stay in the lines. I even heard her tell herself, "Okay, Sabrina, don't shake."

Remind you of anybody?

I love these photos, because they remind me of how I felt right then. Those two beautiful little girls painting together, my mom and I sitting there reading our books in the perfect weather at an amazing house where I was able to be with my family for a whole week...I was, and still am, overwhelmed with such love and gratitude.

And more Graeagle...

And more Graeagle

Graeagle photos

I'm finally getting around to posting some photos from our trip. It's hard when your wireless isn't working and you have to use your old (like 4 years) slooooow PC. And it's even harder when you're obsessed with online Scrabble.

G-ma's house

Whenever I come to town, my Grandma always wants to go out to dinner, and I always have to talk her into just hanging out at her house. It's so much easier to visit that way; I can let Marlo run around without having to keep her entertained like I would at a restaurant.

And I always tell her not to feed us, that she should relax and just visit. But that's impossible for her to do. Bless her heart.

It was my favorite place when I was little, and now I love seeing our kids there.

Griffin's marker

It was placed while Marlo and I were on vacation, so I saw it for the first time just the other day. It looks exactly like I thought it would. It's hard to say how I feel about it. I hated the thought of it not being there, but now that it is, it makes it so permanent. If that makes any sense.

I left Marlo with Lane and went by myself to visit him, and I was so anxious about the marker being perfect that I couldn't remember how to get to the cemetery. Where my son is buried. Where I've been numerous times. And then when I got there I spent forever trying to get every speck of dirt and blade of grass off of it, wondering what I should polish it with next time. I had a laugh at myself for that, because that's me being me...and being a mom wanting to fuss over her baby.

Then when I left I was so lost in thought that I got lost again!

Basic stuff like that slips away from me lately. It's frustrating when my subconscious doesn't work with me, because right now I need all the help I can get. My whole life, if I was ever sad about something it was because I chose to be, because I focused on it and put it forefront. And with Griffin I'm really trying to cope, to learn to accept it and not be angry, to deal with all my feelings up front because I know that's what's best.

But there's an undercurrent in me that I have no control over and I hate that. It's like I'm swimming up from the bottom of the ocean. I can see the light of the sun through the water, but just before I reach it I find myself tethered beneath the surface. I'm not quite there yet.

Anyway, Marlo had just learned "Twinkle, twinkle little star" when we lost Griffin. I always imagine that she's singing it to him. And later, when she understands, she'll know the part she played in it.

Six Flags Marine World

My aunt Dianne took Dana and I and the kids and I seriously had the time of my life. The place has everything: rides big and small, carnival games, the amazing butterflies, and not just sea life but giraffes, elephants, tigers etc. all right up close.

Plus these three got to be together...

Two things

Marlo and I just returned from our two-week visit up north. I have lots of photos to post that I'll get to someday, but I just wanted to say:

1. I love my family (blood, step, in-law and everything in between) SO MUCH I could just burst. Not kidding.

2. We don't ever want to be away from Mark for that long again!